Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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