What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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