Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize