planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
