The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am spending my child support on dildos
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
