some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
