I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
