Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
