He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
