I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
