just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize