Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
