apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
