So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
