I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone signed my nipple.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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