I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
