Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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