Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
