whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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