It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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