The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
