Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This is the high leading the old right now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
