i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just had sex bonerless
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
