you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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