Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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