just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
