i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
