I feel like abortions should bother me more
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize