I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
