I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
