we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
