Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
