it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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