Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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