if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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