By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
do herpes really smell.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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