she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
