HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
