and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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