"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
