I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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