Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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