Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize