You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
