cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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