1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No subtext here. People are naked.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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