Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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