please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
