Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
