Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
