morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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