i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize