Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
