what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
