Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
