my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
