You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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