first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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