Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize