Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
